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Confessions of a Former OverachieverI used to be the classic overachiever. Now I'm divorced and unemployed. Life couldn't be better. Yes, I'm serious. May 11 Moving OnFor various reasons, I feel that it's time to move my blog from MSN spaces, and try a new site. Check out my new blog at: http://darklightwrites.wordpress.com
I'm not importing the old stuff, just starting fresh. I'll leave this site active, but there won't be any new content added. Hope you check out the new blog. Yes, I will write there regularly. April 07 Job MarketI don't really want to work. However, since I enjoy living in a house, as opposed to a bus shelter or under a bridge somewhere, sooner or later I will have to work. In preparation, I sent my resume to two places where I knew someone who could recommend me. I figured might get an interview. It would be good practice. I got interviews at both places, which proves that getting a job is all about who you know.
After today's interview, I was offered the job. That has never happened to me before. I'm not really sure I want the job. I definitely don't want to say yes to the job before going to tomorrow's interview and seeing what happens there. So I guess that's what I'll do. March 22 The Easter Bunny"The Easter Bunny isn't a real bunny," Valerie says. "It's just somebody in a costume."
"Yeah," agrees Isaac.
"Do you think it could be your mom or dad or Tony in the costume?" asks Granny.
"Nooooo," says Isaac. "The Easter Bunny only comes when everyone is asleep, so how could it be mom or dad or Tony if they're all sleeping." He says this in such away as to imply that his grandmother might be a few sandwiches short of a picnic for even asking the question.
Later on...
"I'm not sure if the Easter Bunny is a real bunny, or someone in a costume," says Valerie.
"It has to be someone in a costume," offers Isaac. "Bunnies don't grow as big as mom."
"Well, it could be a real bunny that's really nice," Valerie shoots back. "Mom, do you know who the Easter Bunny is?"
"Yes, I do," I reply.
"Who is it?" brother and sister ask in unison.
"Well, if I tell you, the Easter Bunny won't come to you anymore. She only comes to people who believe in her and don't know who she is."
"Oh, ok, don't tell me then," says Valerie.
"Don't tell me either," says Isaac.
Later still ...
"Daddy told me about the Easter Bunny," Valerie says.
"Oh yeah, what did he tell you?"
"That it's magic!"
I have a friend, a guy my age, never married, no kids. He has nieces or nephews, I'm not sure which. He told me he was going to spend Easter at his sister's place and would be buying Easter Bunny stuff for her kids. I related the Easter Bunny story from Valerie and Isaac.
He laughed. "The things kids come up with," then after a pause, "I guess I'll never experience that."
He seemed the slightest bit sad about it.
It's a beautiful thing, believing in magic. SeventyI've lost 70 pounds. This is more than my almost 7 year old daughter weighs. I'm at a size now that is probably about the smallest I remember being in my adult life. I was around this size when I finished university and started working. The difficulty I'm having is that I don't really know what's after this. I don't really remember being smaller than this, so it's kind of unknown territory. But, I know that I want to be smaller than this.
This weight loss has had a huge impact on my activity level. I was always reasonably active, but this just allows me to do so much more. I am at the front of the pack in the training walks for the Weekend, whereas last year, I would have been near the back. I can snowshoe in the Gatineau Hills. I can get to the ball to make shots I wouldn't have been able to manage before in squash. And I feel like doing things. I have a lot more energy.
On the down side, the loose skin on my stomach is distressing. It is soft and hangy and makes it difficult to get clothes that fit. It's clear that plastic surgery will be required to fix it, and my boobs, which unfortunately, due to a combination of genetics, age and weight loss, point alot more southward than I would like. I'll be heading out to plastic surgery consultations soon. Although I don't plan on having the surgery until later in the fall, I want to find out what I'm in for, and I'm hoping that perhaps scheduling the surgery will keep me motivated.
Another sort of weird side-effect -- my hair is thinning. I don't think it's noticeable to anyone but me, but I can definitely feel it. I've heard people say this is just the aftermath of surgery, so I'm hopeful it won't continue.
The weight loss has been pretty steady, averaging about 1.5 pounds a week. I would like it to be faster, but I know this is a reasonable pace, and am trying to relax about it. If I keep losing at this rate, I will reach my goal weight, or something very close to it, by the end of the year.
Even with this tool, it's not an easy journey. But I do believe that having the band has made something that was probably impossible for me become possible. There were times early on when I thought I was crazy for doing this. But now, I wouldn't change it. It's probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. March 19 The End of an EraFor fifteen years and two months, I have been going to the same building every day. On Monday, I went there to work for the last time.
I could see the writing on the wall for a while now. A large project recently cancelled in our division, a move towards heading things out of the Belguim site. When I checked my email from home while on vacation and read the goodbye emails from colleagues affected by a reduction in force, I felt a certainty that I would be impacted as well. I have survived through many, many rounds of layoffs, never before being hit myself, nor thinking that I would be, but this time, I just knew I would be on the list. When I returned to work after vacation on Monday to find my phone dead and my email inaccessible, I knew it was time to start packing. My boss and the HR representative were most apologetic that I found out that way, but in a way, perhaps that warning made it a little better than coming in to think all was normal and then being hit with the news.
While I am not saddened by the loss of a job I felt no passion for, I still feel the impact of not being the one to end the relationship. Not that I would have ended the relationship -- the financially sound thing to do was to wait for the severance package, which is good. But still, not being the one to have made the choice stings a bit. And there is a small feeling of humiliation involved with packing up your things and moving out the building, knowing the colleagues you have shared space with for years are watching. The only time I had any difficulty with the news was when people around me started realizing what was happening and came over to say goodbye. I won't miss anything about the place aside from the wonderful people I worked with.
I am still coming to terms with this huge change, and feeling somewhat at loose ends. It's odd, having nowhere to go every morning. But over the last couple of days, an interesting feeling has been growing. Happiness. For the first time in my life, I can do exactly as I please. The severance package allows me the luxury of taking some time to think about my next steps. I look at this as a blessing and a tremendous opportunity to find a new career; one which I can be excited and passionate about. I have some ideas about where I want to go, and have even started taking some initial steps in the right direction.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. February 29 Oh Yeah, I Have a BlogIt's getting pretty dusty in here. A bunch of random stuff for your reading pleasure.
The Weekend to End Breast Cancer
I've been training and fundraising for the Weekend. I've been out doing 10K training walks every Sunday morning, moving up to 15K this weekend. On February 23rd I held a Scrap & Yap to raise money for the weekend and came away with $1350.00. It was a great day. Special thanks to Serdic for his delivery of the delicious ginger sparklers and his generous donation, and to Martin's wife (who doesn't have a cool blog name) for the great lunch. I'm still raising money, so please consider sponsoring me. Speaking of Walking Long Distances ...
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but I bought snowshoes this year (I've been threatening to do this for 3 years now) in an attempt to find something to get me through the winter. I'd been out only one with my kids (in an experience that could best be described as "interesting" with Valerie whining the whole time and Isaac running and being a champion snowshoer), but had wanted to go out with some friends. Finally got around to doing that on Sunday (after the 10K walk in the morning). Three of us met up and did the Wolf Trail in Gatineau Park. If you're checking out the map, on Sunday we did up to about the Mahinga Lookouts and then headed back down. The elevation is about 380m at that point. The hills kicked my ass, but the views were incredible and so worth it. I am kicking myself for not bringing a camera. I only managed a few crappy cell phone pictures. Then last night, in a fit of what can only be described as insanity, KW and I braved the frigid temperatures and the dark and headed back up for a night hike, head lamps at the ready. We were the only two people there. Once we got moving, I wasn't cold at all. It was a super clear night with no moon to speak of and the stars were just incredible. This time, we did the whole loop (shhh... don't tell, you're not supposed to do the whole loop on snowshoes) - 8.5K. I could become addicted to this. I'm definitely going back up soon during the day with a camera.
What Should be a Valid Reason to Miss Work (or School)
I think if you have a huge zit, such as the one that is currently taking up a large amount of real estate on the right side of my chin, you should be allowed to stay home from work or school. I mean really, who wants to go out with such a thing taking up residence on their face? And nobody else in the world needs to be subjected to it either. You know they're trying not to stare and tell you "man you've got a huge zit", but it's kind of like a train wreck. They just can't look away.
Unrecognizable
Apparently, I have lost enough weight that people fail to recognize me. A couple weeks ago, I was out at the AcuDetox session when I woman (who happens to be a hypnotist that I used to see) came into the room. After a while, she came over and sat down beside me and said "I'm sorry I didn't come over to say hello to you before. You've lost so much weight I didn't recognize you." My father tells me that he wouldn't have recognized me from my Facebook picture (I dare you to look at it WWJD). Interesting, that is. I have a lot to say on the weight loss subject, so I'll just save the rest for another post.
Darklight Goes South
Minds out of the gutter you adolescent boys. You know who you are. Next week I am heading out to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for March break. I shall brave airline travel (alone) with my two children. Myrtle Beach is not an easy place to fly to. Getting there involves a flight from Ottawa to Washington DC, a 4 hour wait in Washington, another flight from Washington to Charlotte, NC, a one hour wait in Charlotte and another flight from Charlotte to Myrtle Beach. This with 5 and 6 year old children. I have calculated that we will spend approximately 12 hours in airports by the time we get there (if everything is on time). I pointed out the the person booking my flight that I could drive there almost as quickly. Coming home should be a bit better as we only have to stop in Chicago, although I do question the need to fly west to get east again. But whatever. I have a van rented for our time there (my parents have rented a condo there, so we'll be staying with them, and I wanted us to all be able to get places in the same vehicle). I called the rental company to inquire about whether they have booster seats. "Yes, ma'am, we do," says the woman on the phone, in her slow southern drawl. "Do you have to pay extra for them?" "Yes ma'am they're $15 a day per seat." Highway robbery that. I say "Wow, I could buy them cheaper than that." "Yes, ma'am you could. They're $19.95 down there at Wal-mart. That's what I would do if I were you. Buy them and leave them at the airport. Your children will be perfectly safe in that back seat till you get to the Wal-mart just down the road." The parents are now on a mission to find booster seats. Sadly, apparently they missed a $4 one at a thrift shop that very day. We are staying at the Sea Watch Resort right on the ocean and I am greatly looking forward to an escape from this snow.
I Do Still Write, Just Not Here
I have submitted some short stories to contests and an article to a magazine. While I don't really expect to win or to be published, it's been an interesting experience and I intend to continue. One of the things I've learned from doing this is that I don't really want to write short stories, which has been the boost I needed to get me (re)started on the novel. Apparently the type of writing I do is called narrative or creative non-fiction. Who knew it had it's own genre? February 11 Your Help RequiredOnce again, I have decided to participate in The Weekend to End Breast Cancer. For those of you who may not be familiar with the event, it is a 60K walk which takes place over 2 days. It is held in various cities (Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Halifax) throughout Canada. This is the 3rd year this event will take place in Ottawa and the 3rd year I will participate. This year, I am lucky to be part of team called Bandsters for Boobies. The team started out with a few of us who have had lapband surgery and has expanded to include others as well.
One of the commitments I've made in registering for the Weekend is to raise $2000, which goes to the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. To do this, I need your help. Please consider sponsoring me for the Weekend. You can donate by credit card at my Weekend to End Breast Cancer website, or you send me cash or a cheque (leave me a comment or send me an email for my contact info) and I will make the donation on your behalf. Tax receipts are issued for any donation of $10 or more. Your support is greatly appreciated. February 06 Define MeFacebook has allowed me to conduct what I consider to be an interesting experiment. And speaking of Facebook experiments, if any of you have some pictures of WWJD, could you please send them to me so I can post them on Facebook without his consent to see if he really will hunt me down? Thanks.
 So, among many annoying things, Facebook has this application called "Define Me". Essentially it allows you to add this box to your Facebook profile where your "friends" can type in words that they think define you. I was interested to find out whether others perceive me the way I perceive myself, so I added the box and
I found this an interesting exercise. Would I define myself the way that others have defined me? In some cases, yes. I'm flattered by the words that people have used (farty notwithstanding). And yet, I can't help but be disappointed by the words people didn't use. However, if ever I decide to return to the world of online dating, I'll have additional fodder for my profile. January 31 Sexy FruitNo, I'm not talking about you Jimmy, as sexy as you are.
The avacado was revered by the Aztecs as an aphrodisiac. It gets it's name from the word ahuacatl which is apparently Aztec for testicle. I've never given this much thought before, but I guess now that I do think about it, an avacado does look a bit like a (albeit scarily huge) testicle. Kinda wrinkly and puckered. Until you take the skin off. The avacado that is. I have no real interest in skinning a testicle. Eww.
The avacado is (according to this article) one of nature's most perfect foods.
Guacamole. Yum. It's OfficialI am divorced.
For those of you who may be wondering, the correct response to this news, in my case anyway, is "congratulations" or something along those lines. I wouldn't turn down an invitation to a celebratory margarita either. January 28 AcuDetoxToday, I started AcuDetox treatments. For those of you too lazy to click on the link, this involves having 5 acupuncture needles inserted into specific points in each ear. This is done every day (except weekends) for three weeks. This protocol has been successfully used to treat addictions and is supposed to provide other overall benefits. Let's see how it works on food addiction. We have been cautioned not to expect much change until the full course of treatment is completed. And that things might get worse before they get better.
Let me say this. Acupuncture needles, at least in the ears, hurt. Not a screaming in pain type of hurt, but still. And in fact, some of the people receiving the treatment did in fact cry out in pain (although there was no actual screaming).
I can't say exactly whether I have seen any benefits yet, and as I just said, this is not necessarily expected. However, I did notice that perhaps I had a little more energy today, in spite of being exhausted. Enough energy to haul my ass to a spinning class and get through the whole thing. Said ass is now screaming in pain, but since I only plan on spinning once a week, it will have a week to heal up. I guess I need to build up some butt callouses.
January 22 SmileSo, I'm walking down the hall/street/whereever, minding my own business, when someone tells me to "smile". This does not make me want to smile. In fact, when someone tells me to smile, my first instinct is to throttle them. Good thing I have some self control. At least in this area.
To all you "smile" nazis. What gives you the right to interrupt my personal space and tell me to smile? And what's up with all you people who walk around smiling at nothing? I think you're deranged. January 16 Even BetterMy daughter is known for an activity she calls "thinking". I have no doubt mentioned this before, but am too lazy to look up the reference. Anyway, in short, thinking involves pacing back and forth while mumbling to herself. When she "thinks" she is making up stories in her head, creating dialogue, and the like.
On Saturday, my son went for a playdate at a friend's house. When Valerie and I arrived to pick him up, he announced that he had been rollerblading in their basement and wanted to show me. We went downstairs for the demonstration. He got all suited up -- rollerblades, helmet, elbow pads, shin pads, gloves -- and showed me one length of the basement on wobbly ankles (and holding my hand) before he lost interest and moved on to something else. Then Valerie announced "I want to try it." I wasn't optimistic about this -- my daughter is beautiful and sweet and smart, but coordinated -- not so much. But we suited her up (she skipped the shin guards) and got her started. To my amazement, after about 2 lengths of the basement with her holding my hand, she was on her own. Back and forth across the room, over and over again.
After a while she declared emphatically, "This is even more fun than thinking!!" High praise indeed. SixtyI've lost 60 pounds now. It took 2 months to lose the last 10 pounds, a result I'm not that happy with to be honest. I've had some difficulty with getting the right fill level. I've probably puked more in the last month than I have in my whole life. But it seems that perhaps now I've reached the so-called "sweet spot". In fact, 5 of those 10 pounds came off in the last week.
This is not easy. I'm not sure what I expected exactly. Perhaps there's no way to prepare yourself for the changes you have to make in your life for this to be successful. My ability to eat can be unpredictable at times. So far, I haven't really found any food that I can't tolerate at all (for which I am grateful), but I can only eat very, very small quantities. People see what I bring for lunch at work and laugh. And sometimes I can't finish all of the small amount I bring. At dinner time, my portions are smaller than my children's. It would seem like this would be a good thing, and to a certain extent, it is. But there's a small amount of regret that goes along with it. Sometimes, something is good and I just want to eat more of it. I'll never be able to drink beer or pop again. On a rare occasion, I've taken a sip of someone else's pop and been overwhelmed by how fizzy it is. I need to leave it in my mouth for a while to get rid of the fizz before I can swallow it. Oddly, I've kind of lost the taste for diet coke. I used to LOVE it. I recently had a sip of someone's and it tasted odd. Every now and then I do make a Fresca flat and drink that though. That's a big treat. Going to a restaurant is difficult. I know that I will not be able to finish anything that I order. It seems like a waste of money. And I worry that I will end up with something stuck and be uncomfortable for the whole visit. Of course, the upside of that is that I spend a lot less money in restaurants. To some extent, the joy has been taken out of eating. The challenge for me is to find some joy in this new way of eating.
On the upside. I'm 60 pounds lighter. I'm down 5 pants sizes. I sometimes shop in "normal" stores. My rings are spinning around my fingers. The reactions of my family (most of whom hadn't seen me in several months) at Christmas were overwhelming. That felt really good. And an interesting thing. People, strangers even, seem to be nicer. More people smile and say hello to me than before. Is it simply because I'm thinner, or am I projecting an image of being more approachable without being aware of it? I'm not sure.
I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal weight (fully recognizing that I might adjust my goal weight as my body changes. I'm not excessively concerned with a number on a scale, but more with how I look and feel). In fact, I'm not even half way there. But I can see the possibility. A destination that seemed unreachable before now is within sight. Oh GoodieIt was just announced that there will be a network upgrade at work taking place over 3 upcoming weekends. If that upgrade goes anything like the recent roll out of new systems, I predict we might as well all take 6 weeks off because there will be no network for us to use. ImagineHave you ever been sitting in a meeting or something at work, kind of bored and looked around the table at your colleagues and then, to amuse yourself, tried to imagine them having sex with their partners?
No?
I guess I'm a huge weirdo then. January 15 The Bed You MadeI was always one of those people who figured you had to live with the consequences of your actions. Anything else seemed to be the easy way out. In an unhappy marriage? Too bad. You made this choice and now you need to make it work. Divorce would be an admission of failure and just too easy. I thought that it was righteous, I guess, to be miserable for the rest of your life.
I have recently realized that it isn't righteous and it isn't necessary to be miserable for the rest of your life based on a choice you made. That we make mistakes and that in fact, sometimes things happen through no fault of our own. That it is possible to make another choice that negates a previous one we wish we hadn't made.
The most surprising thing about this relevation is that what I thought was the easy way out isn't necessarily easy at all. Making a choice not to be miserable (and by extension, not to make those close to you miserable) is sometimes the most difficult choice you'll ever make. January 09 No Training RequiredDarklight's law of online support systems (where online support systems include things like time and expense tracking tools).
If you have to provide training for online support systems to a group of educated, intelligent people, who use computers on a regular basis, the system is too complicated.
Corollary
When I am complaining about a non-intuitive system that should be intuitive, don't ask me if I've taken the training. I'm not talking about building rockets here -- I just want to enter my sick days in the tool. January 08 Forward This!An example of the proliferation of stuff which has gotten even worse with the advent of Facebook.
Hello, my name is Joe Blow.
I am 6 (3, 4, 5, 7, 8, but whatever, always young) years old and have <insert horrible illness here>.
<Insert charitable organization or random company here> has agreed to pay <some amount of money> towards my medical costs for every time this is forwarded on.
To those of you who forward this, thank you for your support. For those that don't, remember, what comes around goes around <or other dire warning>.
Thank you, Joe Blow
So, what I want to know is this. How is it exactly, that charitable organization or company X knows when these messages have been forwarded on. Are they monitoring people's SuperWall and FunWall in Facebook? Do they have some kind of big brother program out there that is watching everyone's email activity and counts every time this particular message gets forwarded? Maybe there's some company out there which has been formed with the sole purpose of monitoring the forwarding activity of all the "so-and-so will donate money" emails that are floating around the internet and depositing the money (which comes from where, exactly?) into various people's accounts. I might be missing something really obvious here and denying some kid an extra 7 cents for their head trauma treatment by not forwarding this junk. Somebody help me out. Maybe I'll start my own woe is me email and see how many people forward it (of course, that would require me getting plugged into this big brother monitoring corporation which could be problematic. I wonder how much of a cut of my proceeds they will take). It will read thusly:
Hi,
My name is Darklight and I'm 37 years old. I'm a (nearly) divorced (from a gay man, who I was with for 14 years, and who, at the time of our separation is the only man I had ever had sex with) mother of 2 children, working in a job I hate in order to be able to put a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs. I am overweight, never have time for myself, still have zits even though I'm nearly 40, am constantly tired, and never quite seem to have enough money. My sanity is severely compromised by this every day.
Luckily for me, Saving Sanity for Single Mothers has generously agreed to donate 10 cents for every time this message is forwarded. The money will be used to buy margaritas, Swedish berries and eventually to fund trips to tropical locations. All of this will be invaluable in preserving my sanity.
For those of you who forward this message, you have my thanks. For those that don't, UP YOURS! Sincerely,
Darklight
AmbitionIn response to my previous entry about not making any resolutions, Jimmy commented "I hope you can keep it". I'm not sure if he was joking. Because, a resolution not to make resolutions is surprisingly difficult to keep. It seems that human beings are generally driven towards goal setting and achievement. Although I do know one or two people who seem to have no ambition whatsoever to be any different than they currently are. I find it ... curious. Perhaps they have just given up, they simply don't care, or they are one of those rare breed of people who are blessed with perfect self-esteem and feel that they really are fine just the way they are. Regardless, I just don't get it (kind of like dogs) while simultaneously thinking it must be a very peaceful way to be and wishing I could achieve it too.
It has occurred to me that setting significant goals, especially to achieve something with which we have little experience, is something like a running a marathon. Significant goals take a long time to achieve. And I further theorize that this goes against our evolutionary development. While we've evolved a lot since the cave days, I still believe we are inherently designed to be more like sprinters than marathon runners. Mostly, back then, we sat around conserving our energy for the sprints. We knew that soon we were going to have to hunt something in order to eat it, kill something in order to keep it from eating us, or run away from that which we could not kill. We might not be alive next month (in the event of failure to kill something, whether it was to eat or prevent being eaten, or maybe we just aren't going to be fast enough to get away from that next sabre toothed tiger). Long term goals were irrelevant.
Even today, life is really a series of sprints. Hurry up to get ready for work. Get through a bunch of meetings. Make dinner. Little mini-sprints throughout the day. Since we are inherently sprinters, when we try to do a so called marathon, we tend to break it up into sprints. We set little mini-goals. It seems quite sensible. Break up the big thing into little things. Manage the sprints, since we're good at that already. And yet, much of the time, we fail to finish the marathon. We never lose all the weight, we quit going to the gym at the end of January, we never quite pay off that credit card. Why?
Because though we break the marathon up into sprints, the ultimate goal is still the finish the marathon. Anything else is perceived by our conscious brains as failure. And somehow, that marathon goal just doesn't jive in our limbic brain, the part that thinks that we might be eaten by tigers tomorrow. If we might be eaten by tigers tomorrow, what exactly is the point in running a marathon that doesn't finish until next year?
What if we just abandonned the marathon entirely? What if we only worried about sprints? Would we be more successful in actually achieving our long term goals if we didn't set any (and yes I realize this flies in the face of all conventional wisdom on the subject)? Maybe instead of setting New Year's resolutions, we should set daily resolutions. It seems to me we'd have a much better chance of achieving the resolution we set out that very morning than some grandiose plan to go the gym at least 156 times this year (just looking at that in writing makes me depressed)! Wouldn't we feel imminently better about ourselves if we achieved a goal we set for ourselves every day? I'm starting to believe that much of my own unhappiness stems from the failure to recognize the joy in every day accomplishments. Always looking for the end of the marathon that we're pretty sure we won't finish is a pretty depressing way to go through life. I don't think I want to do it anymore. Leg WarmersYesterday I saw this guy walking his dog. Not being a dog person (and not really understanding the attraction to dogs in general, as I find them to be smelly and needy), I don't really know what kind of dog it was, other than it was a biggish dog. Anyway, I noticed that this dog was wearing socks on all its feet. At first this started me thinking about why it is that people want to dress their dogs up in stupid outfits (I realize that people who have dogs consider those dogs to be their babies, I just don't get it, but, hey, I'm a cat person and I have real kids, who haven't drooled on me since they were about 18 months old, who no longer require my assistance in any form to pee or poo, and who will thankfully some day grow up and move out of my house and no longer require me to do everything for them, and will be able to look after me in my old age, which is not to say that they will look after me in my old age, but at least the possibility is there, whereas, a dog is never going to be able to do that. But, I digress yet again.), until I thought that perhaps there is some practicality in dogs wearing socks. First of all, although it wasn't particularly cold outside (the weather having taking yet another weird turn towards spring) I would imagine that a dog's feet must get cold on the winter pavement, so maybe some socks could help with that. And then I thought, given how slushy it is out there, this dog's owner could take those socks off right at the front entrance, thereby eliminating the need to wipe the dog's feet when they get home, or even more annoying, the need to mop the floor of all the wet, dirty, slushy dog prints that would result when the dog got home.
Practically of dog socks aside though, the funniest thing about observing this dog walking event was that one of the dog's socks seemed to have developed a hole and had slid up the dog's back leg. He (she?) looked for all the world like he was wearing a leg warmer. Flashdance dog. I so wish I had a picture to submit. January 04 ResolutionsHappy New Year. This year, I make no resolutions. I have enough to feel guilty about without adding the weight of un-kept resolutions to the list. My continuing quest to understand myself, and the reasons for the behaviours I seem to keep exhibiting, in spite of the fact that I don't really want to exhibit these behaviours has led me down many paths. I have seen psychotherapists, naturopaths, hypnotists, neuro-linguistic programming practictioners, healers, and cranio-sacral facilitators to name a few. I have read books and articles on the subjects of changing behaviour and improving self-esteem. They all come back to a common thread. Chances are, when you were little, someone, most likely your parents, because God knows that parents will mess you up. So people are encouraged to look back at their childhood and un-tell the untruths that were told to them and accepted as actual truths. Things like "you're not good enough". Just for example. There are various methods you can use to go back in time, in a manner of speaking, and resolve the issues with these people. Some involve confronting them directly, some involve virtual confrontation. Mimimum effective response I believe Dr. Phil calls it. But here's the thing. I have no memory of anyone who really mattered ever telling me I wasn't worthy. Somehow, for reasons I don't really care to examine (because truly, what relevance do they have today?), I implied my own lack of worthiness. As an empathetic, perceptive child, I decided that the unhappiness of others was due to a failing in me. And so I wonder, what do you do when the only person you really have unresolved issues with is yourself? Coffee ShopThere's this commercial that plays quite frequently on the one or two TV channels that I actually watch. I think it's for diamonds. A sweet little song.
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I want to come too
This song is called Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg. All you guitar types can get the tab and the rest of the lyrics for it here. December 19 Reasoning and Critical ThinkingMost people know (or are on) Facebook. Those that use it can attest to it's addictive properties. I, myself, quite like it. I've reconnected with a number of people who were important to me. It's a quick way to keep up with a large number of people. Yes, it can be addictive, but like most things, the novelty wears off after a while, and you revert to using it for its intended purpose.
One of the problems with Facebook is that at times, it can be extremely slow. There are no doubt lots of reasons for this -- the sheer number of people using it, all the 3rd party applications that are available, etc. One of the 3rd party applications you can install is called FunWall. This is an application that lets people post videos, pictures, funny messages, etc. to your profile. Recently, the message below started showing up on people's FunWalls. I copied this directly out of someone's FunWall, so typos, etc. are not mine. Attention all Facebook membeRs.
Facebook is recently becoming very overpopulated, There have been many members complaining that Facebook is becoming very slow.Record shows that the reason is that there are too many non-active Facebook members And on the other side too many new Facebook members. We will be sending this messages around to see if the Members are active or not,If you're active please send to other users using Copy+Paste to show that you are active Those who do not send this message within 2 weeks, The user will be deleted without hesitation to create more space, If Facebook is still overpopulated we kindly ask for donations but until then send this message to all your friends and make sure you send this message to show me that your active and not deleted. Founder of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg Of course, people with their Facebook addiction and sheep like attitude immediately start posting this thing to the FunWalls of every person in their friends list. Some people have this thing on their FunWall many, many times. Let's analyze this, shall we. Do you honestly think:
a. That the owners of Facebook think it makes sense to solve traffic problems by chewing up more bandwidth with unnecessary posts?
b. If they did believe for some bizarre reason that generating more traffic was the route to solving slowness problems (in which case, they are stupid, but I digress), they would do this via some 3rd party application that they are not responsible for?
c. That they don't have another way of determining whether you are active on Facebook (like for example tracking when you log in, which, trust me, is all done automatically)?
Please, Facebook users, I beg you, don't repost this thing. I know you love your Facebook and would go to any length to protect your account, but this is really unnecessary and annoying. You don't have to be too computer savvy to be suspicious of this one. Do you also respond to all those "verify" your account information emails you get from so-called financial institutions. Try to apply some reason and logic before blindly following directions. Or I might just have to remove FunWall. December 18 Christmas StuffA Christmas survey, stolen from The Singer, because I can't come up with an original idea lately: Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. I used to wrap gifts really elaborately, but that was back in the day before I had kids. Real or Artificial tree? I have never had a real tree. Yes, really. My parents had this tree that they bought the year I was born - 1970 for those of you who care. It was bought after Christmas for $10 (I think, I'm sure my mom will correct me) and a few boxes of ornaments came with it. It was one of those trees that the had a center pole with holes to stick the colour coded branches into. They had that tree until a few years ago. Over the years it got pretty rough looking. We used to call it the Charlie Brown tree. It had huge holes that my mom used to stick stuffed animals into to fill up the space. I used to bug my parents to get a real tree, or at least a new artificial tree, but my dad said there was nothing wrong with that tree (we disagreed) and it had sentimental value for him (at first I thought he was full of it, but now I'm not so sure). We never got a real tree because it was too much work and would drop needles everywhere. A real tree, just like a cat, was something I would be able to have when I was grown up and living on my own. Of course, when I was out of my parents house, I ended up living with my husband and he had grown up with real trees and considered them a pain in the ass (sap and needles everywhere), so we never got one (I did get the cats though). So, to this day, I still have not had a real tree. Since my husband and I split up I haven't bothered getting a real tree, mainly because I go away at Christmas and it seemed like a waste. One day, however, I will get one. When my kids are old enough to appreciate the while experience. When do you put up the tree? Mid December usually. This year I put it up on December 15th. I might have put it up earlier, but I was travelling and didn't have time.
When do you take the tree down? January 1st, or whenever I have time. Do you like eggnog? Yes, in small doses. Favorite gift you received as a child? I had a lot of favourites, but the one that sticks in my memory is this. Christmas 1986. We had just moved to Ottawa. This was a difficult transition for me. I had very few friends, but had developed a friendly feud with Martin over hockey. His love of the Oilers annoyed me, so I picked a team I thought could beat them (the Flyers) and became an avid fan. That year my dad bought me a Philadelphia Flyers jersey for Christmas. This was a big surprise, because my dad went out on his own and got this. He didn't typically do Christmas shopping on his own. So this meant a lot to me. I still have the jersey. One of my weight loss goals is to fit into again. The Flyers lost to the Oilers in game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals in 1987. I am still in therapy for the aftermath. Do you have a nativity scene? No Hardest person to buy for? My dad What was the worst Christmas gift ever received? Well ... not to speak ill of the dead, but no doubt it was something given to me by my Great Aunt Ivy. Now sometimes, she did give good gifts, but lots of the time, I was left scratching my head over her choices. Christmas Cards? I like getting them, but I'm horrible about sending them out. I really just gave up the last couple of years. Favorite Christmas movie? How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the original cartoon, not the Jim Carrey thing), hands down, no question. TOWTP downloaded it for me and I watched it with the kids last night. They were riveted. I love it just as much every year. Dr. Seuss in general is just great. He makes up great words (snuv being my personal favourite), and covers touchy subjects in an engaging, non-preachy way (check out The Lorax and Horton Hatches the Egg). When do you start shopping for Christmas? I start in November. I usually finish around December 23rd. I think I'm done for this year, but you never know. Have you ever 'recycled' a Christmas present? Not that I recall. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Turkey dinner, my ex's tourtiere and sugar pie. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I prefer coloured, but my current tree is one of those pre-lit ones (which is just great) with clear lights. It has so many lights on it that it lights up the house on it's own. Every year I think about replacing some of the lights with coloured ones, but it seems like a big job. Favorite Christmas Song? The Skydiggers version of Good King Wenceslas. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home? We (we being me, my kids, my ex and his partner) typically go to my parents house, about 2 hours up the road in Ottawa Valley. My folks, my grandmother, 2 of my aunts, one of my uncles and a bunch of cousins live there. On Christmas Eve my one aunt hosts a family party and we eat, drink, chat and play games. Christmas day there are various dinners at various places. Can you name Santa's Reindeer? Yep Do you have an Angel or a Star on top of your tree? A star. It's very pretty. Multi-coloured. Unlike the tree. Open the Presents Christmas Eve or Morning? One present on Christmas Eve, the rest in the morning. My sister (who is 33) still gets up at some ungodly hour (like 5am) and opens her stocking. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? How busy the malls are. My kids changing their minds about what they want from Santa constantly. Shopping...Mall or online? I do both. I was especially fond of eBay this year. Do you decorate outside for Christmas or just inside? Both. Valerie wants me to get a reindeer for the lawn. Maybe next year. Of course, if next year is anything like this year, snow-wise, the reindeer would be long since buried. Favorite Christmas cookie? Hmmm. My grandmother makes this cookies called snowballs. I only eat them at Christmas and quite like them. Do you own Christmassy clothing or jewelry? I have a nice bracelet my mom gave me. I probably also have some earrings people gave me. Do you believe in Santa? Well, I saw him at the mall on Saturday, so he must be real.
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